Thankful in the middle...

As I sit here with a slightly aching back and head from a full day of managing our home, keeping the peace, training and feeding our babies and feeling like I didn't quite get it all right, I become more aware of the small body in my arms.  This completely trusting, dependent and beautiful child the Lord has entrusted to us.  I am amazed at how a brand new eternal soul is here against me - how much God loves and trusts me to give me such influence over this little one's life.

Thankful seems too small a word for the emotions that realization brings.  But thankful is the only word I have.  I am so thankful for the lives of each of our children, I can no longer imagine my life without them and my heart quails at the thought of losing one of them.  

I am so thankful for chubby cheeks, dimpled hands and dreamy smiles.  I am so thankful for the perfect weight, tiny diapered bottom and sleepy head resting in my arms.  I am so thankful for dark eylashes, downy soft hair and a tiny nose.  So thankful that in spite of my sin, shortcomings and fears, God has blessed us again with a new life and promised that He will provide.  He will provide grace when my patience has run dry, He will provide peace when direction is unclear, and above all He will call their hearts when my life is an imperfect example.

Thankful just isn't a big enough word tonight for the security that we are not alone in the parenting journey.  That we serve a God who knows the future and holds our babes in His hands.  That I don't have to rely on my strength alone to raise and bring my children to salvation.

But thankful is the only word I have.  So in the middle - when I can't see how the story ends - I content myself with a heart full of thanks.