Sunday, December 18, 2011
Books Galore!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Just FYI
If you ever want to use your own picture as the background for your blog in blogger - get someone who knows HTML script to help and expect it to take several hours or you will be sorely frustrated.
Just saying....
Just saying....
A Blast from the (not so distant) past!
Back in October one of my little brothers was able to come and stay with me while Chris was in Virginia for a class he needed to be on his campus for. We had so much fun hanging out and it was so nice not to have to be by myself for the whole week! While he was here we got to check out the Florida natural history museum, go gator watching, work at the farm and put together Eb's crib!
Here we are Gator Watching at Lake Alice on campus! Yep, that's a gator in the water!
Having fun in the stadium!
Giant moths at the butterfly museum!
It was so nice to have Bubby here to keep Pandora and I company!
Here we are Gator Watching at Lake Alice on campus! Yep, that's a gator in the water!
It was so nice to have Bubby here to keep Pandora and I company!
Quiet reflection on a not so quiet day...
As you might have guessed from my recent prolonged absence, it has been a terribly hectic season of life. I (and vicariously Chris, Eb and the cat) have gone through a lot of stress trying to accomplish everything on my adviser's, my teacher's, my committee's and my to-do lists before our newest little man comes into the world. It has been awful. There have been tears, exhaustion, a couple of nights writing to 3 in the morning (not a good thing to do when you are pregnant and already prone to exhaustion), disappointment at not receiving the acknowledgement expected for all of this work, some sadness at not being able to travel to be with the rest of my family for Christmas (which also means NO possibility of seeing snow) and currently discouragement at not yet having all of the school stuff finished up so I can focus on my own little family. All this accumulated emotion and negativity (which I had been doing a good job pushing under the rug in my heart) came gushing out in my poor husband's arms this morning at the prospect of processing more peach samples. After some discussion we decided it was best to stay home and rest today - the peaches will just have to wait.
Why do I tell you this? No, it's not for your pity, or to depress you, but simply to be honest with you, and myself. Following the Lord isn't always pretty - but it is usually our own doing that makes it so difficult. Our own selfish wills that seek the broad, comfortable roads to walk down. I certainly feel entitled to a comfortable life - but no one ever promised that. My heart frequently needs to hear this truth, and maybe yours does on occasion too.
I have really been questioning if this whole coming-to-Florida-and-having-a-baby-while-getting-a-PhD-thing was/is a huge mistake. I have honestly been wanting to run away. I have felt cheated and frustrated that all of this is so hard. But who am I frustrated at? Who's will would I be running away from? Who am I questioning? The answer to all of those is the Lord. Who am I to question His plans and intentions for my life? He led us here, He opened the doors to where we are and has provided in generous and miraculous ways for our needs along the way. Has He ever let us go hungry? Has He ever let us go without a roof over our heads? Has He ever left us alone? The answer to all of these is a resounding 'NO'. He has blessed us over and over again, with a loving church family, physical provision, a wonderful and healthy pregnancy, He has maintained our health through ridiculous circumstances and surrounded us with loving family and friends. Even if He hadn't done all these things - what right would I have to be mad at Him? He didn't promise that this season would be easy, He didn't promise a PhD and lots of rest, He didn't promise to give me all the time I want with my family and friends and He definitely didn't promise that I would get to see snow every Christmas.
He did promise that He is in control (Psalm 62:11-12, Psalm 24, Job 38-41). He did promise that He has good plans for me and my family (Jer. 29:11-13, Pro. 3:5-7). He did promise that He would not send me somewhere He is not willing to go as well (Psalm 23) - that He will never leave me alone or forsake me (Isa. 41:10-11). He did promise that He will never give us more than we can handle (1 Cor. 10:130, Rom. 5:3-5). He did promise that if I follow His will, His name will receive glory. What higher calling is there than being a vessel that carries glory to our Lord (2 Cor. 4:16-18)?
What has He asked of me in return? Simply to obey. Even when I don't understand how this is useful, even when it is hard, even when I don't get the approval from people that I so desperately want, even when it seems financially difficult - or even impossible, even if it means doing something other people consider foolish (like having a baby right now), He just wants me to obey. And He promised that through my obedience He will receive glory - through my obedience He can use me. In the process He will draw me ever closer to Him, remake me ever more in His likeness - but He never promised that killing 'the old man' would be easy. Just that He would be with me during the process and that He is in control. What more can I really ask for than that?
Why do I tell you this? No, it's not for your pity, or to depress you, but simply to be honest with you, and myself. Following the Lord isn't always pretty - but it is usually our own doing that makes it so difficult. Our own selfish wills that seek the broad, comfortable roads to walk down. I certainly feel entitled to a comfortable life - but no one ever promised that. My heart frequently needs to hear this truth, and maybe yours does on occasion too.
I have really been questioning if this whole coming-to-Florida-and-having-a-baby-while-getting-a-PhD-thing was/is a huge mistake. I have honestly been wanting to run away. I have felt cheated and frustrated that all of this is so hard. But who am I frustrated at? Who's will would I be running away from? Who am I questioning? The answer to all of those is the Lord. Who am I to question His plans and intentions for my life? He led us here, He opened the doors to where we are and has provided in generous and miraculous ways for our needs along the way. Has He ever let us go hungry? Has He ever let us go without a roof over our heads? Has He ever left us alone? The answer to all of these is a resounding 'NO'. He has blessed us over and over again, with a loving church family, physical provision, a wonderful and healthy pregnancy, He has maintained our health through ridiculous circumstances and surrounded us with loving family and friends. Even if He hadn't done all these things - what right would I have to be mad at Him? He didn't promise that this season would be easy, He didn't promise a PhD and lots of rest, He didn't promise to give me all the time I want with my family and friends and He definitely didn't promise that I would get to see snow every Christmas.
He did promise that He is in control (Psalm 62:11-12, Psalm 24, Job 38-41). He did promise that He has good plans for me and my family (Jer. 29:11-13, Pro. 3:5-7). He did promise that He would not send me somewhere He is not willing to go as well (Psalm 23) - that He will never leave me alone or forsake me (Isa. 41:10-11). He did promise that He will never give us more than we can handle (1 Cor. 10:130, Rom. 5:3-5). He did promise that if I follow His will, His name will receive glory. What higher calling is there than being a vessel that carries glory to our Lord (2 Cor. 4:16-18)?
What has He asked of me in return? Simply to obey. Even when I don't understand how this is useful, even when it is hard, even when I don't get the approval from people that I so desperately want, even when it seems financially difficult - or even impossible, even if it means doing something other people consider foolish (like having a baby right now), He just wants me to obey. And He promised that through my obedience He will receive glory - through my obedience He can use me. In the process He will draw me ever closer to Him, remake me ever more in His likeness - but He never promised that killing 'the old man' would be easy. Just that He would be with me during the process and that He is in control. What more can I really ask for than that?
Friday, December 16, 2011
Pregnancy's Dirty Little Secrets: Part 1
While I haven't had nearly enough time to reflect on it, pregnancy has been an amazing experience. The responsibility, honor and joy of carrying new life can be overwhelming - but on the practical side there are some things I wish I'd known about pregnancy ahead of time. Let me be clear - these things would not have changed my mind in any way about becoming pregnant, and they have not diminished the joy and honor of carrying Eb, but it would have been nice to know some of these things were on the way and that they are "normal".
So with that intro - here is my list of 'pregnancy's dirty little secrets' - things that no one really tells you ahead of time, but when you bring it up all of the pro's say something like "Oh yeah! I remember that, don't worry its totally normal." Well I sure didn't know that was coming!
*Disclaimer* Some of these things would definitely be considered Too Much Information - so be forewarned, you may come away from reading this knowing way more than you ever wanted to about me. But, like I said, I wish someone had warned me, so if you are like me and don't mind nitty gritty details up front, read on my brave friend! If not, you can't say I didn't warn you!
1.) The Dropsies
You know those days you just feel like a butterfingers? You trip over your own feet and your grip just doesn't seem sure? Welcome to many pregnant ladies daily lives! In preparation for labor, God designed our bodies to to "loosen up" and employs several hormonal changes to help it do so. While these are intended to help with labor, they also loosen the rest of your joints and can make you quite clumsy in the process. Chris has rescued me from many a spill induced round of tears over the last few months!
2.) Heartburn, Indigestion, Constipation, Gas and Hemorrhoids - Oh My!
"Digestion Issues" may be one of the most awkward side effects of pregnancy - and they were one of the least expected for me! When you think of pregnancy and stomach issues morning sickness is usually what comes to mind. While I did get queasy my first trimester, it was never terribly unbearable. Constipation was. I eat well and move a lot, so it was really strange to have to deal with this - once again, those lovely pregnancy hormones are responsible. One of the hormones responsible for helping to maintain your pregnancy also makes your body much more efficient at digesting your food so you can get all the nutrition possible out of every bite. But it does this by slowing everything down, including your, erm, bowls. Good news is that increasing your fiber and water combats this easily, but it helps to know what's going on. By the way, this slowing of digestion/ making digestion more efficient is also what causes those morning sickness symptoms early on. Constipation, and the continually increasing amount of weight you are carrying puts increased pressure on your bowls and the floor of your abdomen - often leading to the last embarrassing side effect of pregnancy listed above. Again this can be somewhat alleviated by keeping up fiber and water, but you can't avoid healthy weight gain and so sometimes you can't avoid these either. I'm told they go away for most women after delivery - I can only hope that's true for me!
3.) Mighty Morphing Belly Button!
Watching my belly button change has probably been the weirdest experience of pregnancy, even more weird than watching my belly move all by itself! I knew my belly button might 'pop' at some point - but for some reason I thought that would just happen over night. I was wrong. I have watched what used to be inside my belly button slowly move outside to become part of my belly as my belly has grown with the baby. It has yet to 'pop' like the timer on the turkey, but this metamorphosis has been far stranger than 'popping' would be for me. It has gone through stages where it could be described as a mouth, a stamped ring and (forgive the metaphor) a cat's butt. I have this irrational fear that if it stretches any further it will come undone - weird, weird, weird!
4.) Turning Sideways No Longer Makes it Easier to Fit Through a Tight Spot!
So you would think this would be obvious - but I keep trying to do it anyway!!! Old habits die hard.
I have lots more, but its past my bed time! Consider this a good first taste by which you can judge whether or not you want to read later installments or not!
So with that intro - here is my list of 'pregnancy's dirty little secrets' - things that no one really tells you ahead of time, but when you bring it up all of the pro's say something like "Oh yeah! I remember that, don't worry its totally normal." Well I sure didn't know that was coming!
*Disclaimer* Some of these things would definitely be considered Too Much Information - so be forewarned, you may come away from reading this knowing way more than you ever wanted to about me. But, like I said, I wish someone had warned me, so if you are like me and don't mind nitty gritty details up front, read on my brave friend! If not, you can't say I didn't warn you!
1.) The Dropsies
You know those days you just feel like a butterfingers? You trip over your own feet and your grip just doesn't seem sure? Welcome to many pregnant ladies daily lives! In preparation for labor, God designed our bodies to to "loosen up" and employs several hormonal changes to help it do so. While these are intended to help with labor, they also loosen the rest of your joints and can make you quite clumsy in the process. Chris has rescued me from many a spill induced round of tears over the last few months!
2.) Heartburn, Indigestion, Constipation, Gas and Hemorrhoids - Oh My!
"Digestion Issues" may be one of the most awkward side effects of pregnancy - and they were one of the least expected for me! When you think of pregnancy and stomach issues morning sickness is usually what comes to mind. While I did get queasy my first trimester, it was never terribly unbearable. Constipation was. I eat well and move a lot, so it was really strange to have to deal with this - once again, those lovely pregnancy hormones are responsible. One of the hormones responsible for helping to maintain your pregnancy also makes your body much more efficient at digesting your food so you can get all the nutrition possible out of every bite. But it does this by slowing everything down, including your, erm, bowls. Good news is that increasing your fiber and water combats this easily, but it helps to know what's going on. By the way, this slowing of digestion/ making digestion more efficient is also what causes those morning sickness symptoms early on. Constipation, and the continually increasing amount of weight you are carrying puts increased pressure on your bowls and the floor of your abdomen - often leading to the last embarrassing side effect of pregnancy listed above. Again this can be somewhat alleviated by keeping up fiber and water, but you can't avoid healthy weight gain and so sometimes you can't avoid these either. I'm told they go away for most women after delivery - I can only hope that's true for me!
3.) Mighty Morphing Belly Button!
Watching my belly button change has probably been the weirdest experience of pregnancy, even more weird than watching my belly move all by itself! I knew my belly button might 'pop' at some point - but for some reason I thought that would just happen over night. I was wrong. I have watched what used to be inside my belly button slowly move outside to become part of my belly as my belly has grown with the baby. It has yet to 'pop' like the timer on the turkey, but this metamorphosis has been far stranger than 'popping' would be for me. It has gone through stages where it could be described as a mouth, a stamped ring and (forgive the metaphor) a cat's butt. I have this irrational fear that if it stretches any further it will come undone - weird, weird, weird!
4.) Turning Sideways No Longer Makes it Easier to Fit Through a Tight Spot!
So you would think this would be obvious - but I keep trying to do it anyway!!! Old habits die hard.
I have lots more, but its past my bed time! Consider this a good first taste by which you can judge whether or not you want to read later installments or not!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Renewed Awe...
Last night we attended a concert at our church. The main attraction was Josh Wilson and he put on a great show - but that's not what impressed me most. Opening for Josh was one of our own talented girls from Abundant Grace, and I mean absolutely gifted, I enjoy listening to Allie more than most professional artists. One of the songs she preformed was 'You're Here' by Francesca Batistelli - while listening the significance of Christmas hit me like it hasn't in a long time. It presented me with the reality of Christ as a child and what was knowingly sacrificed in sending Him to earth as a human child. With Eb's birth so imminent I can literally imagine myself in Mary's place, holding that precious, perfect baby - and while I don't think Mary knew what was to come, the Lord did - AND HE DID IT ANYWAY. I cannot fathom giving up my child for almost anything, let alone a bunch of people who weren't worthy, and who never could be worthy - but that's exactly what God did for us - to fix a mistake and heal a wound He didn't even initiate. I was so overcome with gratitude and awe for what our Lord did for us. How can we not fall at His feet and pour out our everything in worship to a God like this?
You're Here ~ Mary's Song ~ Francesca Battistelli
Hold on now, I gotta take a deep breath
I don't know what to say when I look in your eyes
You made the world before I was born
Here I am holding You in my arms tonight
I don't know what to say when I look in your eyes
You made the world before I was born
Here I am holding You in my arms tonight
Noel, Noel, Jesus our Emmanuel
You're here, I'm holding You so near
I'm staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could've left us on our own, but You're here
Don't know how long I'm gonna have You for
But I'll be watching when You change the world
Look at Your hands, they're still so small
Someday You're gonna stretch them out and save us all
You're here, I'm holding You so near
I'm staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could've left us on our own, but You're here
Don't know how long I'm gonna have You for
But I'll be watching when You change the world
Look at Your hands, they're still so small
Someday You're gonna stretch them out and save us all
Noel, Noel, God with us Emmanuel
You're here, I'm holding You so near
I'm staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could've left us on our own, but you're here... you're here
Someday I'm gonna look back on this
The night that God became a baby boy
Someday You're gonna go home again,
But You leave your spirit and flood the world with joy
You'll be here, I'm holding You so near
I'm staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could've left me on my own, but you're here... You're here
Hallelujah... You're here... Hallelujah... You're here
You're here, I'm holding You so near
I'm staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could've left us on our own, but you're here... you're here
Someday I'm gonna look back on this
The night that God became a baby boy
Someday You're gonna go home again,
But You leave your spirit and flood the world with joy
You'll be here, I'm holding You so near
I'm staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could've left me on my own, but you're here... You're here
Hallelujah... You're here... Hallelujah... You're here
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Yep, we're still alive over here!
Sorry I've been MIA over here! We are doing well, just exceptionally CRAZY! I am trying to get all of my school and research finished before my next committee meeting, which is December 8th. Before then I need to write my Review of Literature for my dissertation, finished entering and analyzing the rest of my data, finish blending, processing and analyzing frozen peach samples, plus finishing my class projects and presentations and finals. Chris is in the thick of his class work, a twenty page paper, lots of reading and a project, also all due in the next two weeks. Needless to say it has been a full few weeks and its not over yet! I have several posts and catch ups planned (I have THREE wonderful baby showers to catch you up on!), but most of them are going to have to wait until after the 8th.
Today however, I did want to update you on Eb! We are 34 weeks today (only 6 weeks left - Gah!) and everything is going smoothly. We had a check-up this week and Eb is growing like he should and his heartbeat is strong, so are his kicks! At this point there will be lees amniotic fluid for how much baby is in my belly, from here on all the growth will be baby. But that means there is less cushioning for his movements and everything feels stronger than it did even a few weeks ago.
Here we are at 34 weeks playing shadow puppets :)
Today however, I did want to update you on Eb! We are 34 weeks today (only 6 weeks left - Gah!) and everything is going smoothly. We had a check-up this week and Eb is growing like he should and his heartbeat is strong, so are his kicks! At this point there will be lees amniotic fluid for how much baby is in my belly, from here on all the growth will be baby. But that means there is less cushioning for his movements and everything feels stronger than it did even a few weeks ago.
Here we are at 34 weeks playing shadow puppets :)
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