Pregnancy's Dirty Little Secrets: Part 1

While I haven't had nearly enough time to reflect on it, pregnancy has been an amazing experience.  The responsibility, honor and joy of carrying new life can be overwhelming - but on the practical side there are some things I wish I'd known about pregnancy ahead of time.  Let me be clear - these things would not have changed my mind in any way about becoming pregnant, and they have not diminished the joy and honor of carrying Eb, but it would have been nice to know some of these things were on the way and that they are "normal".

So with that intro - here is my list of 'pregnancy's dirty little secrets' - things that no one really tells you ahead of time, but when you bring it up all of the pro's say something like "Oh yeah! I remember that, don't worry its totally normal."  Well I sure didn't know that was coming!  

*Disclaimer* Some of these things would definitely be considered Too Much Information - so be forewarned, you may come away from reading this knowing way more than you ever wanted to about me.  But, like I said, I wish someone had warned me, so if you are like me and don't mind nitty gritty details up front, read on my brave friend!  If not, you can't say I didn't warn you!

1.) The Dropsies
         You know those days you just feel like a butterfingers?  You trip over your own feet and your grip just doesn't seem sure?  Welcome to many pregnant ladies daily lives! In  preparation for labor, God designed our bodies to to "loosen up" and employs several hormonal changes to help it do so.  While these are intended to help with labor, they also loosen the rest of your joints and can make you quite clumsy in the process.  Chris has rescued me from many a spill induced round of tears over the last few months!


2.) Heartburn, Indigestion, Constipation, Gas and Hemorrhoids - Oh My!
        "Digestion Issues" may be one of the most awkward side effects of pregnancy - and they were one of the least expected for me!  When you think of pregnancy and stomach issues morning sickness is usually what comes to mind.  While I did get queasy my first trimester, it was never terribly unbearable.  Constipation was.  I eat well and move a lot, so it was really strange to have to deal with this - once again, those lovely pregnancy hormones are responsible.  One of the hormones responsible for helping to maintain your pregnancy also makes your body much more efficient at digesting your food so you can get all the nutrition possible out of every bite.  But it does this by slowing everything down, including your, erm, bowls.  Good news is that increasing your fiber and water combats this easily, but it helps to know what's going on.  By the way, this slowing of digestion/ making digestion more efficient is also what causes those morning sickness symptoms early on.  Constipation, and the continually increasing amount of weight you are carrying puts increased pressure on your bowls and the floor of your abdomen - often leading to the last embarrassing side effect of pregnancy listed above.  Again this can be somewhat alleviated by keeping up fiber and water, but you can't avoid healthy weight gain and so sometimes you can't avoid these either.  I'm told they go away for most women after delivery - I can only hope that's true for me! 


3.) Mighty Morphing Belly Button!
          Watching my belly button change has probably been the weirdest experience of pregnancy, even more weird than watching my belly move all by itself!  I knew my belly button might 'pop' at some point - but for some reason I thought that would just happen over night.  I was wrong.  I have watched what used to be inside my belly button slowly move outside to become part of my belly as my belly has grown with the baby.  It has yet to 'pop' like the timer on the turkey, but this metamorphosis has been far stranger than 'popping' would be for me.  It has gone through stages where it could be described as a mouth, a stamped ring and (forgive the metaphor) a cat's butt. I have this irrational fear that if it stretches any further it will come undone - weird, weird, weird!

4.) Turning Sideways No Longer Makes it Easier to Fit Through a Tight Spot!
         So you would think this would be obvious - but I keep trying to do it anyway!!!  Old habits die hard.


        I have lots more, but its past my bed time!  Consider this a good first taste by which you can judge whether or not you want to read later installments or not!