What is a man?

Thanks to the efforts of hyper-feminism our culture is in an identity crisis. We are no longer sure the meaning of one of every individual's most basic traits, their gender. I was recently corrected when I expressed excitement over the upcoming discover of our new baby's gender. Gender, I was told, wasn't determined for most people until they reached their teens years. I must have meant sex, not gender. For, you see, sex is merely the physical anatomy we are born with, gender is those traits associated with masculinity or femininity - which do not necessarily correspond with sex in our culture.

This has resulted in a generation of man-cubs. Adult males who do not have a clue what it means to be a real man. They are content to allow their parents to care for them well into adulthood, afraid of commitment and responsibility, afraid to express masculinity lest they be accused of being a chauvinistic pig, directionless, ambition deficit, and general still acting like boys. Not men. These man-cubs have been told all those things we used to associate with manhood (supporting a family, taking responsibility, caring for women and those weaker than them) are not only outdated but oppressive and dangerous. But while we don't want you to be a man we really don't want you to be a woman either. What's a guy to do? Ask his Dad?

The fathers of many of these young men saw their responsibility primarily as one of provision. They were under the impression if they kept food on the table, a roof over head and paid for a decent education their job was complete. They missed mentoring their sons about responsibility, how to care for others, how to treat women, taking pride in the quality of their work, integrity and self control. Some of these Dads even saw their families as a burden, an obstical they had to overcome to achieve what they really wanted, time on the golf course, a boat, vacation or that new car. This may have been unconscious but manifests itself in how they choose to spend the majority of their time in retirement. Are they continuing to invest in their family? Or are they constantly gone, keeping busy with the next great entertainment?

So, as a young man trying to go against feminist society, but without support from his father, how do you learn to raise your own son into manhood? And what does manhood even mean? How do you even become a man? Is it a certain age? A certain act or accomplishment?

Searching scripture will answer many of these questions of what qualities a man should have. While it may be difficult to convey and teach these without experiencing such teaching first hand, at least there is a blueprint of God's original plan.

But how about that transition into manhood? What does that look like? That has been a recent question in our Bible study where all of the families have boys. In answer we are working our way through the book Boy's Passage, Man's Journey by Brian Moliter. This book sources one of the struggles of young men's identity in not having a defining moment they can point to as the day they became a man. In our culture where manhood is devalued it is naturally not something we celebrate or a passage we would acknowledge. While addressing other needs including lifelong mentoring and words of blessing, Moliter suggests reintroducing rights of passage into our you g men's lives. A time they can remember and identify as their transition from boyhood to manhood. An event that confirms this boy has what it takes, a challenge to live up to.

In the next few weeks I'd like to share what we are learning, what we think is legitimate, what needs corrected and ultimately what, if anything, we hope to apply in our family. Chris and I are excited about this study and hope it will bolster and flesh out many ideas we have discussed about parenting a son. I hope you enjoy joining us for the journey!