When it all comes closing in...

I mentioned in an earlier post how challenging this semester has been for me.  I have had to deal with a lot of demands on my time and energy that often become overwhelming - especially when I have difficulty seeing the purpose in many of them.  Along with the typical stress these kinds of events bring on I have struggled on and off with lots of emotional responses ranging from fear of failure, to desperation that it will never get done, to anger brought on by the feeling that all of this extra stuff is keeping me from enjoying/experiencing all the firsts and lasts that accompany pregnancy. 

I admit, its not been pretty or godly most of the time, but I hope the encouragement the Lord gave me, after I finally submitted this season to Him, can be of some encouragement to you.

In response to the fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear in general, He showed me 2 Timothy 1:7 ~

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

 To the feelings of desperation that threatened to overwhelm me, He showed me Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

And 1 Corinthians 10:13 ~ 

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

To the anger and concern that I was missing precious time with my husband and unborn son - and the underlying fears/worries associated with that anger - He showed me Matthew 6:25-34

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink, nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  Is not the life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing?  Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil or spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like them.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?  O you of little faith!  Do not worry then saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink?" or "What will we wear?"  For the gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Also, He has added Psalm 139, specifically verse 16 ~

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.

Finally, to combat the loneliness that often accompanies all of this, He showed me Matthew 28:20 (b) ~

Lo, I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.

While I still have days that aren't so pretty, I am learning to be thankful for this time.  It has forced me to remember and depend on promises from the Lord - many of which I knew but wasn't living out.  I cannot take any credit for the good days.  The Lord is generous and working on my heart in spite of my selfish will.  When I take time to step back and look at the bigger picture I can be thankful for this time.  Without trials such as these I would not be as intimately acquainted with my God, the knowledge of His promises and attributes would remain just that - knowledge - not the life changing truth it is meant to be.  Without these trials we would miss the blessing of depending on Him, and Him alone, and the even more amazing blessing of surrendering ourselves and our wills to Him and getting to watch Him use us and work through us - doing things we never could alone or unsurrendered.  

Slowly, so slowly, I am learning to submit all of my life to the Lord and trust Him for each day, each hour, each breathe, and trying to prepare my heart for the work He has planned.

 

 

 

 

Little tastes of God's tangible provision!

Providing for our new little one is never far from our mind, especially now that it is more evident I am pregnant.  We have done extensive planning on how to fit necessary items into our small apartment, and figuring out what items really are essential on top of that planning!  There are several items that people often buy when they have a room that can be totally dedicated to baby that we are going to have to modify a bit.  For example, many ladies I know are able to have a dresser and a changing table, while we are hoping to use the top of our baby's dresser as the changing table and eliminate one of the pieces of furniture in that room. 

While I have always been confident that God will provide, I always expected that provision to be in the form of showers and forgot all about hand-me-downs!  We are blessed to be in a church with lots of young families and therefore lots of potential hand-me-downs.  Sadly, one of the families is going to be moving out of the country soon and in doing so there a parring down a lot of their belongings.  We have been one of several benefactors of this process!  

During my planning I always thought a co-sleeper would be nice to make nursing and feeding through the night easier, but as it wasn't one of our completely necessary items I wasn't planning on it.  But this family offered me theirs since their baby has almost out-grown its usefulness!  It was such an encouragement to me that God really provides, and sometimes for your wants, not just your needs!

So here is the newest piece of furniture we received!  It is kind of like a bassinet but made so that you can reach the baby while still in bed!  It straps around the mattress with clips so there is no danger of the baby rolling out the more open side. 

One side is lower to make getting baby easier.

Plus it is a nice brown which will go with either boy or girl colors!  We are so thankful and excited about our gift!

Straps will go under the mattress and attach here!

 

Mountain Top Reminders

Daily we were given glimpses of God's majesty, even in His fallen creation.  From the tiny flowers, to the huge cypress, to the perfectly adapted mountain goats, God's glory and design were evident in everything around us.  One of the most obvious reminders were the mountains on every side of us.  They reminded us of verses about being hidden by God in the cleft of the mountain and the mountain of God.  These huge mountains just couldn't be contained in photos.  One of the verses that Dad was reminded of while we were there was from Psalm 121.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.  He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: He that keepeth thee will not slumber.  Behold, He that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade on thy right hand.  The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: He shall preserve thy soul.  The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth and even forever more.  ~ Psalm 121

 Pretty appropriate, huh?  We thought so too.  It was especially appropriate when reflecting on all the unseen provisions of the Lord along the way of our vacation.  No one fell off a cliff, our hand-me-down van made it successfully out there and back with only one minor breakdown, we were all safe on the raft trip, no one had any serious strains or injuries on their hikes, no altitude sickness or food poisoning... the list could go on and on!  Not only this but we had beautiful weather and timing for all of our adventures.  Truly, the Lord was our help and guard on this getaway and what a wonderful reminder the mountains were of that fact!