Weaning - The Great Seperation

As you might remember we decided to go ahead and wean Eb before Evie comes along, hoping to make the transition simpler and because I don't think I'm ready to tandem nurse (at least not with the changes of going from one to two littles, maybe further down the road).  This is such a bittersweet thing for me.  I love nursing Eb.  I love the one on one snuggle opportunities, the dependency, my ability to directly provide for his needs, the continued health benefits... I'm rambling.  So losing all of that is the bitter.  The sweet is him learning to accept more comfort from Chris, not needing to be the only one who can put him to sleep (since that's really the only time he nursed) and this being one more step of him growing up.  Mostly for my own memory I wanted to document what we did and how it worked, maybe you can find something helpful along the way too!

DISCLAIMER!

As this is mainly for my own documentation their may be parts you find too informative about me (TMI is the phrase my siblings love!).  Feel free to skip this post if you're concerned, I won't tell ;) If you do proceed don't say I didn't warn ya'!

Sleeping with snuggly puppy...

Before we actually started cutting nursing sessions Chris made the great suggestion of introducing alternative comfort sources so he had a chance to get used to them and maybe even associate them with the comfort of nursing.  We took the shotgun approach and introduced several hoping one would stick.  We gave him a snuggly puppy, started playing music in addition to the already established singing (thinking this would be good when it came time to go straight to bed without rocking) and a few sleepy books (Goodnight Moon, The Runaway Bunny, and Time For Bed are the most popular right now, unfortunately his other favorite - The Big Red Barn - is missing).

We let him get used to these for almost two weeks then employed the more unorthodox part of the plan, the moon signs.  Bear with me here!  My parents, grandparents and Great grandparents (maybe further back, I don't know) have always weaned cattle by the signs.  Granddaddy swears that it makes a huge difference on the stress of Momma and baby.  When he weans in the right sign it doesn't seem to phase them much, but in the wrong sign both cow and calf bawl for days and often both lose weight.  Yes, I know I keep using cow analogies.  Yes, I know I'm not a cow.  But the crossovers can sometimes apply!  We thought it worth a try anyway and scheduled to cut out his afternoon nursing while the signs was below the knees.

He did great!  He already slept well for that nap and is usually good and tired so it was an ideal one to start with.  He was sad at first but didn't fuss long, almost every time the first week he would ask for milk but seemed fine with the response of 'later'.  After about three weeks we cut out morning nap nursing, again he was kind of sad but still did great.  

We were going to wait a couple weeks before cutting early morning or bed time, but after only a week of not doing morning nap I starting having rather severe cramps and contractions during his early morning nurse.  Not wanting that to happen again we decided to cut the remaining nursings that day (May 6th).  Fortunately it was the last day in the feet (signs again), and he was a trooper!

So he seemed to transition well, the next concern was me!  A lot of Moms struggle with mastitis when weaning, which is another reason we tried to wean gradually rather than stop cold turkey - I did NOT want mastitis again!  After some quick research I found suggestions of avoiding hot showers/stimulation, binding (or just and snug sports bra) and cabbage leaves. Cabbage leaves!?!  I don't know why they work but they were everywhere and supposed to help your milk finish drying up.  Even our OB recommended them.  And yes, you wear them just like you imagine, like you lost your coconuts at the loua and had to sub with cabbage!  Whether we stopped slowly enough, I just wasn't making much milk, or the cabbage leaves worked their magic, everything went very smoothly.  Only a little itchy and tender, but no other issues.

I think I only used the cabbage leaves for five days or so and kept them on all the time.

Here we are almost a month later and still doing good.  Eb still asks on occasion, but seems content with the 'not right now' answer and the alternative suggestion of snuggles.  I only hope it can go this smoothly with every baby!

Contemplating the end of a season

The time has come to plan the best way to wean Eb, and it makes me feel like the Grimm Reaper.

There are lots of reasons that this needs to happen before Evie is born. One, Eb uses nursing mainly as comfort while he falls asleep. I don't think he is getting much nutritionally, but he is asleep within a few minutes of starting to nurse and rock. This is fine as long as I'm available, but it won't be fine during delivery of little sister, or in the months to follow when I won't always be able to nurse him before nap or bed time. It also isn't fine if he needs to spend the night, or day, away from Momma since he can't get to sleep (at least not without much stress and screaming) without me.

Two, I really don't think I'm up for tandem nursing. Maybe it would be fine and he would self wean as my milk changed to accommodate Evie. I know other Mommas have successfully accomplished this feat, but, frankly, it sound exhausting and logistically almost impossible (I can just envision all kinds of conflicting situations). If he and Evie were born much closer together (say in the situation of "Irish twins") I would probably give it a try so he would get a good solid year of nursing in (my original goal). Since that's not the case I think it will be better for everyone involved not to try tandem this time.

Third, it's really starting to hurt. Yep, TMI but there it is. With all the hormone induced changes nursing just isn't as straight forward as it was before. I pushed through a lot of pain and issues during the first few weeks of nursing because I had an end in sight and a wonderful reward if I could stick it out. This time I've already met my goal for nursing and it was just a matter of time before it should naturally come to an end.

So with all these obvious and practical reasons to wean, why do I feel like the Grimm Reaper? Well for starters, Eb loves to nurse, and I love that time with him as well, for multiple reasons. I love that I'm the only one who can provide for him in this way. I love knowing that he is still getting some (even if only a very little bit) of "liquid gold" in his system. I love that I can give him so much comfort. I love watching him fall asleep in my arms and the wonderful sleepy faces he makes. I love it when he makes the sign for milk (it's just too cute!). And I love this last vestige of tiny babyhood represented by nursing. He is growing and changing so quickly. Ever since he became more mobile his looks have tended more towards toddler than baby, now that he is walking that transformation seems complete. Nursing was one of the last parts of a season I have so enjoyed with my son.

So, yes, lots of selfish reasons. This season has just flown so quickly, I never contemplated much what the end or next season would look like. But there will be a new season, and just as God has shown us in creation each season has something to celebrate, and He gives us a transition time to prepare for the change. In marriage we have engagement to prepare for joining as one, in pregnancy we have 9 months to prepare for a new life, weaning can be a slow transition, one nursing session at a time.

Thank you Lord for this sweet season with my son. Help me not to mourn its passing so much that I miss the joys of this new season.

Hello Aunt Flow!

Welcome to another potentially TMI post! Just like some of my pregnancy posts I'm giving you a chance to back out now in case you are concerned about learning more than you ever wanted to know about me!

One of my most common questions to other nursing Mom's had been 'when did your fertility return?' Like everything else, I learned the answer to this question is as individual as those people I was asking! That didn't keep me from asking though! For some reason it gave me security to expand my knowledge base. Even though I knew my body would act totally independent of any predictions I made, the illusion of knowing what was going on made me feel better. :) If you are expanding your own knowledge base I thought it only would be neighborly to share my experience, plus I want to remember for later because my brain has been proven very unreliable!

On the 23rd of August, just a few days after Eb turned 7 months, I had ovulation pains - something I've never experienced before. September 2nd Aunt Flow returned full throttle and normal. As you know from Eb's updates he started tastes of solids the day after his seven month B-day, but it was in no way displacing his nursing frequency. Also, he has not been sleeping through the night since teething really kicked in at about 3 and 1/2 months. I mention these because they are the two most common events associated with fertility (introduction of solids and sleeping through the night). Age is also part of fertility rebound, with most women regaining full fertility around 6 months even if they are still exclusively nursing. So whichever combination worked for my body, it resulted in Aunt Flow returning from her year + sabbatical.

Strange, TMI, maybe a little icky, but that's where we are now!

Breast feeding: The Good, The Bad and The Milky - Bonding

So as I discovered, breast feeding isn't the easiest job, and it doesn't come as naturally as I thought it would - but it has some hidden benefits I didn't know about before.

1.) It's a need only you can supply.
This sounds like a strange benefit, but if you are exclusively breast feeding YUO are the only person who can fill your baby's need to eat. It's pretty cool to be able to so directly meet a need like that. Since you are the only one feeding him, you also know exactly what he's been eating, how often, how much and what you've been eating too. This can be really helpful in diagnosing that cry, you know exactly when he ate last so you can have a pretty good guess as to whether he's hungry or there's a different problem. If your day has gotten more hectic than you planned, stopping to feed your baby gives you time to regroup and also focus on your little one who might have been overlooked in the flurry of activity. Finally, since you are the only one feeding him, you are guaranteed that quality time with him.

2.) Sweet snuggles.
I cannot describe how precious it is to have your baby reach up to hold your shirt, grab your finger or put his little hand on you chest just to be that much closer to you. It melts my heart every time! Several times Eb has had his hand on either side of his meal while he is eating almost as though to say 'Oh, Momma don't go anywhere!'. Talk about precious!

3.) First conversations.
Often when Eb is done eating, and not ready to sleep, he will sit and 'talk' with me! I love hearing his little voice and the new sounds he tries almost every day! I really feel strongly that if I want him to talk with us (and listen to us) about important things when he is older, I need to listen to the things HE finds important while he's small. Obviously he's not stringing understandable words together right now, but I consider these times good practice for both of us - plus his little grins and earnest faces while he coos are just too fun to miss!

4.) Lots of time for prayer.
Studying my little man while he eats is most often when I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to have such a wonderful little person in my life and in my care. It makes for a perfect time to pour my thankfulness out to the Lord, marvel at His creativity and handiwork, and pray, pray, pray for his future. I know the Lord has wonderful plans for my little son and I am do grateful I get to play a part in them!

Breastfeeding: The Good, The Bad, and The Milky - The LactationConsultant

Introducing your new breast friend! Nope, that's not a typo, it's me trying to be clever ;)

I had heard over and over how helpful a lactation consultant could be, but with all the research and nosing I had done I didn't think I was going to need too much help. Boy was I wrong.

The second day after Eb was born I was already sore on one side. The sweet consultant who came to visit helped me get a better latch and encouraged me to take Eb off and start over until he was on right. She said improper latch was the biggest cause of Moms giving up. Without proper latch Moms end up with blisters (yep), cracks (ditto) and very painful nipples (that's me!). I had been bracing myself for a very painful experience, but once Eb was latched right it didn't hurt, and the consultant said if it did hurt something was probably wrong with your latch.

Once we had that figured out I didn't think I'd be seeing the lactation consultant again... I was wrong.

Along about 2-3 weeks I came down with mastitis (more on that to come!). At first I didn't know what was going on and was afraid I was getting the flu, but I was also having a lot of pain on one side all of the time and, in spite of trying to do everything right, I had sore nipples again - to the point of being tempted to give up.  At Chris' urging I called the consultant and explained my symptoms.  She confirmed that it sounded like mastitis and to call my practitioner for an antibiotic.  After a few more questions she quickly discovered why I probably got mastitis and that my other symptoms (and Eb's frequent gas) were probably all connected and easily fixed by correcting some nursing issues.

Basically, once my milk came in (about 4-5 days after Eb was born) I was really full!  This made it difficult for Eb to latch properly and in the process of trying he was injuring my nipple.  That injury probably led to the infection and mastitis.  Not only was this extra fullness causing a painful shallow latch, it also meant the Eb was getting full on fore-milk and not getting to the hind-milk (apparently your milk changes as the baby nurses, starting out more watery and getting a higher fat content toward the end).  Fore-milk is digested fasted and has a higher lactose content than hind-milk and can cause a lot of painful gas for the baby if that's all he is getting.  Apparently all of this is common and referred to as 'oversupply', and is fixed through several methods.  One is pumping off some of the fore-milk before feeding baby so that its easier for him to latch and he gets to the hind-milk faster.  Second is putting him back to the same side until it is all the way empty.  I had been switching at every feeding and not letting him fully empty either side.  Finally she told me about a concoction that I could use on my nipples to help speed healing and that was safe for Eb (mix one part neosporin, cortisone cream and miconazole on your finger and apply it after every feeding).  After doing this for a week or so nipples were healed, mastitis was gone and Eb had much less gas!  All those benefits from just one phone call!!!

Moral of the story - call that wonderful lactation consultant as soon as you have a bump in the nursing road!  Even if you think you can tough it out, chances are you don't have to - most problems have a simple fix and talking to someone more experienced can help you find that fix!

Breast Feeding: The Good, The Bad and The Milky

Ever since I figured out as a girl that human Moms make milk for their babies just like the all other Moms God created I just assumed that's what I was going to get to do when I became a Mom. As I got older I found out more and more reasons to breast feed my babies - best nutrition for baby, close frequent contact improves baby's brain development, reduced risk of cancer for Mom, delayed fertility return, free nutrition thats always at hand and speedier recovery were just a few of the many reasons I wanted to do this.

Not until I was pregnant did I really start to understand some of the challenges that might come with this decision. Sore nipples, mastitis, not having enough milk, and no sleep began clouding my ideal nursing image. I quizzed almost every nursing mom I knew to try to prep as much as possible for this exciting, yet intimidating, unknown.

Nothing I learned fully prepared me for the realities of this awesome, challenging and often exhausting job.

Almost two months after starting this journey I feel like I can finally start reflecting on this experience and share what it has been like for me. Of course every woman and baby is different, but this will at least serve as a memoir for me and might help you along the way too.

As with my pregnancy posts, I feel like this series needs a disclaimer. I tend to be insatiably curious once I start learning about something I might soon experience, I want all the details some one is willing to give. In the same way I want to share all the details I was previously curious about, or that took me by surprise. So, as previously stated, you might learn more about me than you wanted to know - consider yourself warned.

Secondly, as the title indicates, I'm going to talk about lots of aspects of nursing, including the bad and the ugly. This does not mean I regret nursing in any way or that I want to discourage anyone from trying it - but it doesn't come as naturally or easily as I assumed it should.

Now, with you properly warned, here come the the good, the bad and the milky details of my nursing experience!