The time has come to plan the best way to wean Eb, and it makes me feel like the Grimm Reaper.
There are lots of reasons that this needs to happen before Evie is born. One, Eb uses nursing mainly as comfort while he falls asleep. I don't think he is getting much nutritionally, but he is asleep within a few minutes of starting to nurse and rock. This is fine as long as I'm available, but it won't be fine during delivery of little sister, or in the months to follow when I won't always be able to nurse him before nap or bed time. It also isn't fine if he needs to spend the night, or day, away from Momma since he can't get to sleep (at least not without much stress and screaming) without me.
Two, I really don't think I'm up for tandem nursing. Maybe it would be fine and he would self wean as my milk changed to accommodate Evie. I know other Mommas have successfully accomplished this feat, but, frankly, it sound exhausting and logistically almost impossible (I can just envision all kinds of conflicting situations). If he and Evie were born much closer together (say in the situation of "Irish twins") I would probably give it a try so he would get a good solid year of nursing in (my original goal). Since that's not the case I think it will be better for everyone involved not to try tandem this time.
Third, it's really starting to hurt. Yep, TMI but there it is. With all the hormone induced changes nursing just isn't as straight forward as it was before. I pushed through a lot of pain and issues during the first few weeks of nursing because I had an end in sight and a wonderful reward if I could stick it out. This time I've already met my goal for nursing and it was just a matter of time before it should naturally come to an end.
So with all these obvious and practical reasons to wean, why do I feel like the Grimm Reaper? Well for starters, Eb loves to nurse, and I love that time with him as well, for multiple reasons. I love that I'm the only one who can provide for him in this way. I love knowing that he is still getting some (even if only a very little bit) of "liquid gold" in his system. I love that I can give him so much comfort. I love watching him fall asleep in my arms and the wonderful sleepy faces he makes. I love it when he makes the sign for milk (it's just too cute!). And I love this last vestige of tiny babyhood represented by nursing. He is growing and changing so quickly. Ever since he became more mobile his looks have tended more towards toddler than baby, now that he is walking that transformation seems complete. Nursing was one of the last parts of a season I have so enjoyed with my son.
So, yes, lots of selfish reasons. This season has just flown so quickly, I never contemplated much what the end or next season would look like. But there will be a new season, and just as God has shown us in creation each season has something to celebrate, and He gives us a transition time to prepare for the change. In marriage we have engagement to prepare for joining as one, in pregnancy we have 9 months to prepare for a new life, weaning can be a slow transition, one nursing session at a time.
Thank you Lord for this sweet season with my son. Help me not to mourn its passing so much that I miss the joys of this new season.
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