When it all comes closing in...

I mentioned in an earlier post how challenging this semester has been for me.  I have had to deal with a lot of demands on my time and energy that often become overwhelming - especially when I have difficulty seeing the purpose in many of them.  Along with the typical stress these kinds of events bring on I have struggled on and off with lots of emotional responses ranging from fear of failure, to desperation that it will never get done, to anger brought on by the feeling that all of this extra stuff is keeping me from enjoying/experiencing all the firsts and lasts that accompany pregnancy. 

I admit, its not been pretty or godly most of the time, but I hope the encouragement the Lord gave me, after I finally submitted this season to Him, can be of some encouragement to you.

In response to the fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear in general, He showed me 2 Timothy 1:7 ~

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

 To the feelings of desperation that threatened to overwhelm me, He showed me Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

And 1 Corinthians 10:13 ~ 

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

To the anger and concern that I was missing precious time with my husband and unborn son - and the underlying fears/worries associated with that anger - He showed me Matthew 6:25-34

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink, nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  Is not the life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing?  Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil or spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like them.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?  O you of little faith!  Do not worry then saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink?" or "What will we wear?"  For the gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Also, He has added Psalm 139, specifically verse 16 ~

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.

Finally, to combat the loneliness that often accompanies all of this, He showed me Matthew 28:20 (b) ~

Lo, I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.

While I still have days that aren't so pretty, I am learning to be thankful for this time.  It has forced me to remember and depend on promises from the Lord - many of which I knew but wasn't living out.  I cannot take any credit for the good days.  The Lord is generous and working on my heart in spite of my selfish will.  When I take time to step back and look at the bigger picture I can be thankful for this time.  Without trials such as these I would not be as intimately acquainted with my God, the knowledge of His promises and attributes would remain just that - knowledge - not the life changing truth it is meant to be.  Without these trials we would miss the blessing of depending on Him, and Him alone, and the even more amazing blessing of surrendering ourselves and our wills to Him and getting to watch Him use us and work through us - doing things we never could alone or unsurrendered.  

Slowly, so slowly, I am learning to submit all of my life to the Lord and trust Him for each day, each hour, each breathe, and trying to prepare my heart for the work He has planned.

 

 

 

 

So behind!!!

Sorry it has been ages since I posted!  I have a lot to catch up on but here is a quick picture of me and Eb at roughly 23 weeks (this is from a couple of weeks ago!)!

Pandora was feeling left out, so she got in on one too!  She loves me carrying her while she is perched atop my belly!

Offering advice...

While I was working my way through a paper for class Chris came to keep me company.  Then Pandora came to see what we were doing and settled down to offer Chris her expert opinions for strategy in his game.

I love moments like this!

Have you talked to a chicken lately?

How about a cow?  Or an oak tree?

Well, maybe talked to is too strong a term, you might get sent to talk to Chris if people thought you were serious!  During one of the last Truth Project talks we were able to attend the speaker was talking about seeing God's design in the world around us - be that plant or animal.  Just taking time to marvel at how fearfully and wonderfully the world around us is made. 


Job points out the wisdom in God's creation when he says:

But ask the beasts of the field, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee: or speak to the earth, and it shall tell thee: and the fishes of the sea declare unto thee.  Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this?  In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind.   ~ Job 12:7-10

It is continually amazing to me that with all of our technology and knowledge how much there still is that we don't understand in our world.  Additionally, creation confirms the wisdom of God's design again and again, even to the point of confounding modern science and doctors.  Remember when we thought 90% of our brain was useless?  Now doctors are realizing that while not often active, those parts of our brain are vital to long term memory.  

The detail of design and order boggles my mind at times.  Last semester I was learning more about photosynthesis than most people care to think about... but the details went on and on!  Reactions to environment that have to happen within milliseconds in each plant cell to allow them to continue operating - not just chemical reactions - but whole restructuring of the insides of cells were amazing!  While we know enough to describe a lot of these functions, there are still huge holes in our knowledge, gaps where we don't know what happens, let alone why.  And this is a process scientists have been studying for decades!

So, what can we learn from talking to a chicken?  A lot!  We learn that we have a God of order and purpose.  A God who thinks and plans things out down to the most minute detail.  He cares about the little things in life and creation, and He provides for them accordingly.  Studying His design we learn more about the world around us and about His character.  

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.  Day unto day uttereth speech, night unto night sheweth knowledge.  There is no speech nor language wherein their voice is not heard.

~ Psalm:1-3

What more reason do we need than that?  Just don't talk to the chicken while your psychology friends are around ;) .

What to call Grandparents?

Picking something for my parents to be called is a new challenge for me.  I have very good and immediate associations with most of the grandparent names I am familiar with, so having my parents called by those names seems a little odd.  For example, I have/had a Grandma, Grandpa, Granny, Granddaddy, Ma'maw, and Pa'paw, and those are all still present in my mind even though some of them have passed.

With Chris' Dad and Step-Mom the dilemma seems to have been resolved for us.  Since this is not their first grandchild, they have already been designated Mamoo and Papoo.  His Mom and Step-Dad don't have as firm distinctions yet, so we may get to find something new for them too.

Some people have said 'Just wait and see what they call them on their own'.  But I don't think a child would create one of these names on their own without first hearing them - and probably hearing them regularly.  I think it more likely that - like us - they will call someone by the name they are introduced as... so the questions still remains.  By what name will we introduce our parents to our new baby?

Any suggestions?  We would love to hear them!

Yep, we're still kicking...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while!  With school starting up Chris and I have been running non-stop.  Chris is busy with his online class and preparing for another intensive coming up this Fall, he is also on the hunt for an internship.  Even though he doesn't plan on really starting until the first of the year, he needs to get started with interviews and such now just because of all the paper work that needs completed for him to get credit.  I am trying to maintain my sanity between a heavier than expected class load and an ever growing list of things that need done for my project before Eb comes along.  

This semester I am taking a Weed Management course... somehow I made it through six years and two degrees (in Horticulture mind you) without a single weeds class.  I really felt like this was a hole in my education so I was actually the one who asked to take this class - its not one my committee 'strongly recommended', like my plant anatomy which I am also taking this semester.  Both of these classes have great promise to be fun and interesting, but they are seriously time consuming.  I spend a total of six hours every week in Plant Anatomy lab alone, not counting lecture or study time for that class.  On the up side I think I might have found an undergraduate through this class who is willing to help me with some of the lab work yet to be finished in my peaches.  The third class I am in is Seminar Prep.  This is just a basic seminar class where we present a scientific paper as our own.  It shouldn't be too bad and I already have one of the seminars out of the way.

As far as research goes... the list is a little depressing so I won't lay it all out for you.  Let's just say I am working hard to prioritize and accept it might not all get done, while trying to find the motivation to get as much of it possible done.

So while it is working up to be a potentially overwhelming semester, I keep reminding myself that this is just a season, and soon I will be starting a an entirely new season when our little boy gets here!

And its a...

BOY!!!

We found out during our much anticipated ultrasound last week that we hare going to have a healthy little boy!  Chris and I both agree the most important thing for us was that our baby be healthy, not that it be a particular gender... but I think we are both excited to have a boy first.  I always wanted a big brother and this way our subsequent children will get to have a big brother! Here are pictures  of our new little man!

Flying Side Kick! Hi-YA!

  
While I have been reassured by many new Moms that the weight predictions aren't always reliable, according to his measurements he is a little big for his size.  As of last Friday a 'typically developing' baby would be around 11-12 ounces, and he was 14!  We feel so incredibly blessed that everything "looks like it should" for his age and he is still right on track for the predicted due date of January 7th!