The C-Section: Six months later

While six months sounds like a long time, this particular event, however, is still fresh in my mind and something I am conscious of every day. Here is a quick run down on recovery from my C-Section with Eb six months after the fact.

Disclaimer!  As usual I am giving you the amount of detail I would desire when talking with someone about something I might experience.  If you are concerned about getting TMI (too much information) about me I will not be offended if you skip this post! :)

Physically:

I do not have any of the original pain I had in the beginning, but my scar area does give me sharp twinges on occasion as the nerves continue to heal and the scar tissue gets tugged around. I still have a pretty broad strip above the scar that is numb, although it is smaller than it was originally and some of it has that tingly "asleep" feeling as the nerves slowly heal. Oddly enough I have full feeling below the scar, I'm not sure if this has to do with the kind of cut or is related to my make-up and why I still had some sensation during the surgery.

I can get out of bed like a normal person again! For a long time instead of sitting up to get up in the mornings I would roll to the side. This kept me from straining the incision and initially avoided a lot of pain. Although I have been able to engage my abs without any painful reprisal for some time now, it took some mental preparation and retraining to change the rolling habit.

The doctors encouraged me to break up the scar tissue as much as possible to avoid complications in future pregnancies/deliveries.  Also, if there is scar tissue between muscle fibers they do not heal as strongly as they could.  This has involved massaging and rolling around the scar - not something to look forward to every night, but I can tell a difference.  At fist this was very scary and painful, I was worried I would open something.  Now there is much less resistance and scar tissue to work through.  It can still be uncomfortable, but not as bad as it was.

While I can use my abs again they still have a lot of recovery to go!  They still don't feel as strong as they were before I got pregnant.  Some of this is due to being so stretch during pregnancy, but some of it is due to the numbness and not feeling like I have total control over the muscles yet.  I have really just started felling confident about doing strength training and ab workouts the last month or so.  Before that I was concerned about incurring an injury even though the doctors assured me that the incision was as strong as it would ever be by about three months.

While I feel like my recovery has gone swimmingly (no complications or infections, praise the Lord!), I still don't feel all the way healed.  I am still protective of my stomach and, to a certain degree, I still feel fragile, like a bowl that was broken and glued back together - even if the bowled was repaired with super glue you still tend to handle it gingerly in the future.  I hope as I become more accustomed to this new "normal" and as I work on abdominal strength this feeling will continue to diminish.

Emotionally:

While I know its not logical I still have a lot of negative feelings about the C-section and the conditions which precipitated it.  This is an area that I have to continually return to the Lord with for repentance and trust that He has all of this in control!  In addition to concerns surrounding the actual C-section I find myself worrying about the consequences of this on future future child bearing.  Will my stomach be strong enough to carry anther baby?  How many C-sections can I safely have?  Will I be able to have a V-BAC?  All of these and many more swim through my head at random times.  When they threaten to overwhelm me I have to return to the promises we leaned on when deciding whether to get pregnant or not the first time - the Lord knows our needs, He wants and is fully capable to meet them, He knows the plan of our life better than we do and wants our good!  In spite of my disappointment I am finding more peace that this is the way Ebenezer needed to come into the world - and boy am I thankful he made it here safely!