*Disclaimer* This post, and subsequent ones, will probably contain quite a bit of TMI and be quite long. Feel free to skip to cute baby pictures if you're concerned about knowing me a little too well at the end :) I am including quite a few details both for my memory and for those who might consider a Homebirth. Obviously, every birth, momma, midwife and situation is unique. Please don't substitute my opinion or experience for your own researched judgement.
I apologize ahead of time if this post is a bit disjointed. Parts of labor I remember vividly and other parts are a blur.
Contractions started around 4-5 and were really steady at 10 minutes apart. By the time Eb went to bed and Wantina came to check on me (around 9) contractions were more like 5 minutes apart, but I could still talk through most of them. I bounced on the ball and visited with Wantina until about 11 when she checked me again - I was 2-3 cm and she was able to strip my membranes (slide finger between cervix and bag of water along with putting pressure on points evenly all around my cervix)! Eb woke up a little while after that and Wantina took a nap on the couch while Chris and I tried to put him back to sleep.
During that half hour my contractions changed to where I needed to vocalize through them. I had to leave Eb and Chris so I wouldn't keep him up and moved into Evie's room where we had the love seat. Chris joined me after he had Eb back down and brought distraction in the form of Duck Dynasty :) That helped for the next couples hours, I was able to be on my knees and lean on the couch and get through pretty well, but at some point my contractions changed again and I just needed to focus and move a lot - so no more Duck Dynasty :( During that period Chris was invaluable. He supported me during contractions while standing, vocalized with me through them, helped me relax between them, talked me through the anxiety that would rise after each one... Yeah all in all he was awesome :)
Around 4 in the morning Eb woke up and we decided it was time for him to go to Grandma and Graddad's because I was afraid I would scare him. While Chris was taking him over Wantina checked me again. I had been bracing myself for a very long labor. Often First-time VBAC moms who haven't had a successful vaginal delivery before (like me) will labor as long as first time moms, with 24-48 hour labors totally in the realm of normal. So with that in my mind was not expecting a lot of progress - which is why I was celebrating when I was 6-7 cm dilated!!! I was over half way there!
Contractions continued to intensify and held steady at about 3 minutes apart from there on out. Wantina called her trainee, Laura Jean, to have her come out and bring the birthing tub with her. They had it set up and full by 7 ish and wanted to check me one more time before I got in the water and wasn't as accessible. I didn't feel like I could lay down so they had me on the birthing stool, as she was checking (and just announcing I had reached 9 cm!) my water broke and flooded everywhere - and suddenly I HAD to push!
For some silly reason, probably from watching too many movies where the doctor says 'okay, now push', I had it in my head that pushing would be voluntary. It wasn't. At least, for me it wasn't. With every contraction came the irresistible urge to push, and loud pushes they were! I had up to this point simultaneously been looking forward to and dreading pushing - I dreaded the possibility of a tear but I also knew this was almost the end and that many women found pushing a relief because they could finally feel like they were 'doing something'. Unfortunately, pushing was frustrating for me. I had trouble figuring out how I was supposed to push to help my body get Evie out, which is probably part of why I had to push so long (some other things were going on that I will highlight along the way).
Something else that surprised me was the doubts that came tumbling out if my mouth during this time. I suppose because you are so focused on what you are doing you have no brain power to maintain inhibitions or reason like you normally would, so all those fears you thought you worked through (but really just buried) come bubbling to the surface and out your mouth. Mine were in the form of 'I can do this?' spoken after many contractions to Chris and exclamations of 'I can't' while pushing. The truth was I WAS doing it, but that was my deepest fear leading up to, and all the way through the birth, that my body just couldn't deliver a baby. That it was gong to give out or shut down part way through. Apparently I hadn't worked through that fear as well as I thought, but fortunately I had support to remind me I was doing it and my body was doing just what it should.
After my water broke I still wanted to get in the birthing pool, so Chris and Wantina helped me in and I spent over an hour in there, practicing pushing and, believe it or not, napping between contractions. The warm water helped me relax so much that I really could take 3 minute power naps between most contractions while I practiced different positions to push in, but I had a hard time keeping my grip and feeling steady enough to really push while in the tub. So out we got again and tried the birthing stool, but again, I just didn't feel stable enough so I ultimately ended up holding onto the bed post and squatting.
Wantina was able to check me in this position and gave me some directions on pushing and did some tweaking, which I learned about after, that helped. First, she told me (yep this ones TMI!) to push into my hemmeroids. This finally got me pushing in the right area a d with the right muscles. I'm sure there is a better way, but that was something I could relate with prior experience and it finally clicked. Second, she discovered that my cervix wasn't wanting to stretch over Evie's head but instead move down with each contraction. So she ended up physically pushing it up over Evie's head for several contractions until it would stay put. Third, she was providing perenium support and stretching to try to keep me from tearing, unfortunately she was unsuccessful but she probably reduced the severity. The real kicker for effective pushing though was me just making up my mind to get this conquered and get her out, even if it was awkward and I didn't know exactly how to do it best.
Within a half hour of that decision Evie was born. Crowning was painful, but honestly my hemms hurt more at the time than that I think (the tear must have happened during crowning, at least I don't remember it specifically). At one point I was able to touch her head, but that didn't give me as much inspiration as I had hoped, more desperation to get her out I think. I was able to get her head out in the squatting position but she didn't come as easily as she should have after that so Wantina had me go hands and knees so she could assist her the rest of the way. When she finally came out it was the weirdest gloop, stomach flip type feeling - not painful, but almost nausea inducing. Turns out she had one arm behind her back (yet another reason I struggled with pushing). Three more pushes once I was on hands and knees and then, at 9:52 a.m. about 17 hours after labor started, they had me sit so I could hold our new baby girl!
My first words were 'It's red!' In reference to her hair which looked very strawberry blonde her first few days of life (I was fully expecting a girl version of Ebenezer, dark hair and carmel skin). Chris had tears in his eyes as he studied our newsest little one. I sat on the floor rubbing her back to help her finish getting the fluid out of her lungs while she took her first breaths and we waited on placenta. Laura Jean kept marveling over her umbilical cord, apparently it was really healthy looking? I didn't have anything to compare to but she was really impressed. Once the cord stopped pulsing and the placenta delivered they helped Chris cut the cord and moved me up to the bed.
My memory gets blurred here, so please bear with me :)
Evie came to bed with me and we got some good skin to skin time while I tried to get her to nurse. She wasn't super interested immediately, and instead just rested. I got really cold and shaky for a little while and they said it was the shock to my system of her being delivered combined with me needing to eat (I really didn't eat during labor at all, not because I couldn't, but because I didn't really want to, which surprised me), so they quickly got me a sandwich and started giving me chlorophyll (helps your body build blood quickly). Sometime in here Wantina stitched me up and Chris and Laura Jean took Evie to clean her up and weigh/measure/footprint her. Wantina numbed me really well so stitching only hurt a little. I had a first degree tear that went slightly deeper towards the back. We put my aptly named pad sickles and arnica on quickly to help with swelling.
Again not good with timing, I got sat up, cleaned up some and to the bathroom at some point (all slowly to be sure I wasn't going to pass out), though it took me a couple trips before I could empty my bladder. Once I had Evie back she finally successfully nursed for about ten minutes and then fell asleep again. Chris and I took a little nap before he went to get Ebenezer and the rest of the family.
It was almost 2 (?) when Chris helped me get dressed and settled in the chair before he went to get Ebenezer. He was, and has been the sweetest big brother I could have imagined! He studied and touched her while standing by my chair at first and soon he wanted to sit with Mommy too. So with Daddy's help he got in my lap. He just smiled and studied her and cuddled with me and we talked about what a good big brother he was - you've never seen a prouder boy!
About 20 minutes later my immediate family arrived and we got to introduce them to our new baby girl! I wish I'd gotten pictures and more of them were able to hold her (but that's another post), but we have been able to make up for that since then :)
Soon everyone went home and it was time to start a new chapter in life as a family of four, and take another good nap!
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