I have been asked several times if we will have a homebirth next time (yes, we already hope there will be a next time, no, we aren't already pregnant and no, we aren't crazy... yet :) ). My honest answer is, it's still too soon for me to say. Every pregnancy, baby and birth are different and I have no idea what our circumstances will be next time (or if we will even be blessed with a next time). I hope we are still close to my family and in a state where a planned homebirth is a 'legal option', but who knows? We might not be. I might not have as uncomplicated of a pregnancy and may need to be in a hospital for the next delivery. It was really hard on Chris to see me go through the pain of labor and feel mostly helpless to relieve it, so we might want to explore other options for pain relief now that we have a successful VBAC under our belts. That being said, I mostly liked having a home birth. I liked our family being united so quickly afterward, I liked laboring in our home, I liked all the prenatal appointments at home and the opportunity to involve Eb in those, I didn't feel violated or pressured during Evie's birth. So the short answer to this question is, we are definitely keeping it as an option. But, I do know there are some things we will do differently, and some things I want to repeat, next time no matter where we have our baby.
Things I would change...
I would have more people at our house during labor (especially my Mom) and have people in sooner after the birth. Because of my experience last time I was terrified of someone talking me out of trying this, or stopping too soon. I also felt like this was something I needed to conquer on my own (with Chris), so we decided to only have people there that were absolutely required, me, Chris, the midwife and her assistant. Looking back this was unnecessary and ended up hurting relationships because I did not do a good enough job communicating. Now that we know better, I hope to have more people to support us through the next delivery and celebrate our little one's arrival.
I would have better communication all around of how I hope to see the birth go, what I want people to do, and send more updates. Having more people at the birth will make keeping friends and family updated much more practical. With this birth I didn't really let people know I was in labor, or how it was going, partly because even when I was pushing I was afraid it was all just going to stop, partly because once things really got going Chris and I were so focused on our jobs that we totally forgot to let the world know how we were progressing. Obviously I need someone more objective making those decisions, and someone not so directly involved letting everyone else know whats happening.
More pictures!!! I have very few pictures around Evie's birth, none of the time during labor and none of my family meeting her the first time. I'm telling you folks, I did not plan this out well! I was so focused on the VBAC I missed TONS of other important details, like documenting our girl's birth in photos! And again, having another person or two around would have fixed this.
This one might seem like a no brainer - but again NO DYED VYCRIL!!!
I think I would like to do perineum stretches before the next birth. Because of the tear we have about a 50% chance of tearing again next time and I hope the stretches would reduce that chance.
I want to do the Thompson Breech technique as soon as she should be down or we realize she isn't engaged. I think this was a huge factor in her (and Eb's) delayed due dates.
I think I want to keep nursing Evie as long as she wants to (or maybe 2? whichever comes first), even if that means tandem nursing. I think weaning Eb was probably a good idea this time, but there are times when I think we would all benefit from him still being able to nurse.
Get someone assigned to feed me during labor. I would have eaten if I had thought of it... I think. This might have reduced the shock afterwards too.
Ask for more help, before and after. With Liam and Evie being born so close together, family support was stretched to the max and I was reluctant to ask for more help even though I'm sure many were willing. Next time I need to swallow my pride and ask, and also ask outside of the family. Many friends were willing to come in and I now realize I deprived both them and me from blessing by not asking for help.
I have heard great things about encapsulating placenta to help prevent Postpartum Depression. It totally weirds me out, but does make sense that it would provide a lot of the nutrients you suddenly find yourself deprived of. I need to research ahead of time who is close to us and certified (apparently you can get certified to do this!), how much it costs, how much to take once encapsulated, and how we need to store the placenta until we can get it to them.
I want to be sure to have the stuff I'm taking now on hand, both as a back-up if the placenta doesn't work and to hold me while it is being processed. Right now I am supplementing with Thyrotrophin PMG, Drenamin, Gummy B complex with inositol, NOW powdered Inositol and my prenatal vitamins. I see a huge difference in my mood, anxiety and energy when I'm consistent with these!
I did pretty good with making freezer meals ahead of time so we had some easy, healthy meals, but I did not do good at storing up equally healthy snacks. As such I have eaten way more goldfish and M&M's than I ever care to admit! Next time I want to include snacks in my make-ahead-and-store list. (Maybe try freezing some smoothies, definitely granola bars, veggies and dip in a jar, energy balls, nothing with peanuts)
Keep saline papules as an option for next time. I didn't have back labor this time, but if I did I think I would have used this method for pain relief.
Actually do the Maternal Fitness by Tupler consistently. I do think this would have helped me push more effectively. I also developed a larger diastasis recti this time and it is having a harder time healing - I think doing these exercises during pregnancy would have prevented most o this and help me heal more quickly post-baby.
Repeats for next time...
Paper products are a sanity saver!!! Yes they cost more, but they are so worth the reduced dish and stress load!
Caster oil. No it wasn't fun, but I will definitely try that again before an induction. BUT, I need to start kefir immediately because it took my gut flora a long time to repair after that eviction ans I still suspect that was part of my problem with thrush.
Freezer meals were also great! I need to put up double what I think I will need and more variety next time in case I have an extended recovery like this time. Adding soups, meatballs and spaghetti sauce would help variety a lot. Dump chicken worked great, easy prep to freeze and tasty when cooked!
Borage oil seemed to help my cervix ripen ahead of time and I'm sure this allowed things to progress so quickly once everything else (i.e. Evie's head) was in place. Definite repeat for next time.
Birthing tub was AWESOME! Maybe get in sooner next time!
Splint! I used a Belly Bandit this time since there was not a hospital to request a wrap from. I didn't use it as consistently as I should have, but I think it helped me shrink much more quickly and it helped wit that weird, loose, empty feeling in your tummy post baby.
Have supplies on hand for thrush - Gentian Violet, cortisone, neosporin, myconozole/clotrimazole, kefir.
Well, that's all I can remember for now and concludes this long series on our birth story! I hope you found something useful and thank you for your patience while I document these things for my forgetful brain!
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