Hello Aunt Flow!

Welcome to another potentially TMI post! Just like some of my pregnancy posts I'm giving you a chance to back out now in case you are concerned about learning more than you ever wanted to know about me!

One of my most common questions to other nursing Mom's had been 'when did your fertility return?' Like everything else, I learned the answer to this question is as individual as those people I was asking! That didn't keep me from asking though! For some reason it gave me security to expand my knowledge base. Even though I knew my body would act totally independent of any predictions I made, the illusion of knowing what was going on made me feel better. :) If you are expanding your own knowledge base I thought it only would be neighborly to share my experience, plus I want to remember for later because my brain has been proven very unreliable!

On the 23rd of August, just a few days after Eb turned 7 months, I had ovulation pains - something I've never experienced before. September 2nd Aunt Flow returned full throttle and normal. As you know from Eb's updates he started tastes of solids the day after his seven month B-day, but it was in no way displacing his nursing frequency. Also, he has not been sleeping through the night since teething really kicked in at about 3 and 1/2 months. I mention these because they are the two most common events associated with fertility (introduction of solids and sleeping through the night). Age is also part of fertility rebound, with most women regaining full fertility around 6 months even if they are still exclusively nursing. So whichever combination worked for my body, it resulted in Aunt Flow returning from her year + sabbatical.

Strange, TMI, maybe a little icky, but that's where we are now!

Nine months!

Yes, I know his birthday was Oct. 20, but at least this one is more on time than the last, right?

My baby is 3/4 a year old!!! It's so hard to believe! Even more amazing is how much more we continue to grow in our love for this amazing little man every day!

As every month before this has been a busy month, full of developments and discovery for Ebenezer. He continues to love being outside and will crawl out if the door is left open for any amount of time! He spends part of every standing at one of our several windows studying the world - he especially likes it when Pandora comes to join him!

While he was mastering pulling up last month he is becoming even bolder with it this month, pulling up on any surface that is allowed and within reach - especially my legs! He has also figured put how to slowly squat and sit down instead of just plopping on his bottom. He still isn't comfortable holding on to furniture or fingers and walking yet, but he likes to shake and 'rev-up' while standing.

He loves our new jogging stroller and taking walks to Grandma's house! He does talk much on his walks but he loves sitting and taking it all in.

We tried introducing chicken this last month and he wanted NOTHING to do with it! So much so that he gagged! Sometimes I can slip it in his oatmeal or apples, but not much. He has happily added yogurt, baby oatmeal, biter biscuits, apples, carrots, avocado and banana to his munching repituar though! I have recently stopped giving him banana for a while because he gets a little rash around his mouth after eating it. He really wants to pick food up and feed himself, but he doesn't quite have chewing (well, gumming) down yet. We also introduced a sippy this month but so far he just thinks its a leaky chew toy!

Not much to report on the speech side of development - he does say 'Mama' more but I'm still not sure he associates it with me.

Finally he has cut his top two front teeth and is already working on the ones on either side of those! Not long after the front two broke through he started sleeping much better (only waking two to three times a night), but since these other teeth are trying to make an appearance sleep has been really disrupted again. While I am still tired, the short respite gives me hope that he will be able to sleep on his own in the future - maybe once we get a break from new teeth.

On the Move!

Ebenezer has gotten so much more mobile lately!  While he isn't consistently crawling, that doesn't keep him from getting around!  Most of the time he move using what we affectionately call 'the seal'.  He gets up on his hands and knees, walks his hands out and then uses them to pull his legs up.  Sometimes he adds in a push with his legs to get more speed.  Only a few times so far has he "properly crawled" with coordinated hands and knees movements.

He loves exploring around the living room!  In these pictures I am sitting still the whole time!  The only movement is from Eb!

I moved a little here to keep him in sight,
he turned around to make sure I was watching!

Graduating...

Yesterday we put away the co-sleeper for good. Eb has finally gotten too long for it, plus I'm afraid he will pull himself up on the edge of it and tip out!  We set up his big, beautiful crib on Monday and started him sleeping in it Monday night.  As I watched Chris pack up the co-sleeper I told him it felt like we were coming to the end of an age. While his room isn't ready for him to move into yet and his crib is in our room for now, I felt mingled sadness and excitement at the realization that he is that much closer to moving into his own room! Excitement at the progress and maturity this would indicate, sadness at how quickly he is growing up and taking these first mini steps of independence. He has plenty of room to grow in his new crib and enjoy looking out the window while he waits for me to get him from his nap!

You can't tell here but he has lots of room to grow!

Looking out the window.

Ha! I see you Mom!

It's a TOOF!!!

After months of drool, chewing, sleeplessness and occasional fussing Eb's first teeth have finally broken the surface! And what cute, tiny, white, little pearls they are! Mom actually noticed them first by a flash of white on his gums when we were visiting today. On closer inspection we could see that the left bottom tooth had already broken through and the right one was almost there! I can't stop exclaiming every time I see them!

This of course brings new concerns to feeding time - what do I do when ('when', I will not fool myself with 'if') he bites me while nursing!?! Now that he has teeth do we start introducing solids? Am I ready for him to be eating baby food (emotionally and with the right equipment)? I guess all if these will be answered soon, for now, he's got teeth!!! *Squeal!*

It might be hard to see but there's a pearly white on that bottom gum!

Aren't I a cutie!?!

You Might Be a Momma If...

Nursing is such a sweet time for bonding with Ebenezer. I find that as this has become more routine I am tempted to take it for granted and seek entertainment from books and my iPhone while he eats. I was brought back to reality of how precious these times are when I read the story of a Momma who lost her 4 month old to SIDS recently. That combined with how quickly he is growing reminded me that this precious season is a short one and only happens once.

So recently I have been putting down the phone and soaking in all the little moments I don't want to forget with my little man...

How he watches me while nursing, listening to me talk or sing until, with a roll of his eyes, he gives up and falls asleep...

How he always wants to touch me, whether that's holding my hand, grabbing my shirt or simply resting his hand on my chest.

The little ear imprint left in the crook of my arm after I lay him down.

How he sometimes tries to talk and smile with his mouth full - and the amazing range of motion he has with those eyebrows!

That hilarious rooting reflex that kicks in even when he's asleep! I take him off but he still gropes and hunts for more with his eyes closed and mouth open.

Marveling at his ability to breathe even though his nose is usually squished.

How beautiful his long, dark lashes look while he is asleep.

Finding myself overwhelmed with gratitude at the fact that this new little person is part of my life and praising God for every perfect detail.

Praying for his future and marveling at all the ways I feel God is going to use the little man. Sometimes it feels like I'm wrestling for some of that future...

Oh how sweet it is to be Mommy!

Changes...

Contentment is a funny thing.  You tell yourself (or at least I often tell myself) "if only this will happen I can be content" - but then that thing happens and new areas of discontent crop up.  Sometimes you don't recognize it, sometimes you feel foolish for it, sometimes it makes you despair.  I have been faced with the reality of this but had a really hard time putting the experience and process of working through it into words - then I found this post from one of my friends and she said it for me!  So I am going to shamelessly steal quote her post here.  "May name is als..." posted this on her blog It's Hip to Have an Opinion, and it beautifully sums up what I've been experiencing recently, and much more elegantly than I could have put it!

Change is a funny thing, we dread it, we crave it, we pray for it, we pray against it. Whatever the season, whatever the change it always seems to leave us feeling dazed and confused. For me personally change reveals a lot about my heart. I love control, I love predictability and preparation... I'm learning that after long seasons of waiting normally comes long seasons of change. Those very things like job security, finances, relationships, that you've been patiently waiting for the Lord to bring change in are finally happening and you realize control as you know it has come to an end.

When you're waiting, it's a contentment issue, resting in the plan that your Father has for you. Being patient even when it feels like he's forgotten about your little life. When you're experiencing change, it's a contentment issue. You wonder if the Lord's playing a joke on you. Like okay, I know I whined about being stagnant but you didn't have to give me a hurricane. All it takes is one small thing piled on top of another small thing and all of a sudden you're drowning in a sea of doubt and unbelief.

In those seasons I kind of feel like praying, look Father, I know you have a sense of humor, but really? Anything else you care to throw in the mix? International move, messy church splits, sickness, unknown test results, unreconciled relationships, new relationships, financial struggles, just to name a few. There are moments when I just stop and read the Psalms and think, I get it (hardly) this man had no easy life. But David was faithful to cry out for protection and peace, for strength and for grace reminds me that, my Father loves. He hears burnt out, afraid, hurting, bitter, angry, exhausted, hopeless, wandering people. He promises rest, mercy and grace for those who ask. It's a heart issue not a circumstance issue, it's not a matter of waiting or change, not a matter of difficulty or ease... it is about your heart.

Father forgive me for being quick to let life overwhelm and cloud my view of your gospel. Forgive me for forgetting that those things are meant to point me to you, seeing you more powerful and greater then those things. I pray for my family and friends who are hurting, and struggling to believe that precious truth. That you died to save them, their greatest need has been met and you supply all we need for the day. Help us be people of faith, in your name, amen.