There is a Baby in my Belly!!!

After our huge, scary, earth-shaking decision in January, we moved on as we said we would and, ahem, used other forms of control, with plans of re-addressing this issue come July.  Oh the plans of mice and men... 

Before I made my trip in May we were suspicious that something was up, but not ready to think about that or tell many people either.  I informed Mom and Dad while I was visiting, but I was still convinced my body was just acting weird, Chris on the other hand was convinced I was the big 'P' word already.  I took a test and low and behold, he was RIGHT!  I was still convinced it was a fluke (it was a very faint line after all) and thought I would prove him wrong with the second test... which also turned out to be positive!

So when I got back we scheduled an appointment for after our trip to Arizona, and in the mean time I started all of the precautions I've heard given to pregnant women (no raw sushi, continue with vitamins, rest, be careful about the spray schedule around the orchard and most of all OPT FOR THE PAT-DOWN AT THE AIRPORT!).  During this time I started experiencing the morning sickness and some body changes associated with pregnancy.  It was still hard for me to accept that this was really happening in spite of the physical evidences.  Part of this denial difficulty was that I hadn't had time to stop and fully process everything (please remember this was all happening smack in the middle of my huge, excessively busy month).  Additionally, whenever I did stop to think about it all I got very stressed out about how all of this was going to work with both Chris and I still in school, feeling very convicted that daycare was not an option, and what would happen when I told my adviser (I know, terribly small-minded and non-trusting of me, but hey, you've been reading this blog for over a year now, surely you know I'm not the sharpest tack in the box with this whole trust thing right?).

After our out west adventure we had our first appointment... with really no idea what to expect, but thinking I was far enough along to maybe hear the heartbeat.  The first appointment was not exactly what I expected, but it was good to have Chris there for the whole thing.  We did not get to hear the heartbeat and I was surprised at how disappointed I was.  The doctor said it was probably just because I was earlier than she thought and ordered an ultrasound to double check... but the ultrasound wouldn't happen until two days later!  Those were two really long days! 

During that time I started considering the possibility that I might have a miscarriage.  Talk about a sobering possibility.  In spite of how nervous I was about the timing of this pregnancy, the thought of losing this little life God had entrusted us with brought me to my knees.  I asked for forgiveness for my selfish, narrow-mindedness and fear and began really praying for this little person for (I'm ashamed to say) the first time.  While I'm still worried about what the future will look like, I now have a peace to temper that fear.  I don't have answers, just reassurance that the Lord knows what He is doing, that's why we trusted Him with this in the first place.

Ultrasound day finally came and we got our first glimpse of our new baby!

For the first time it became real that there was a tiny person inside of my belly!!!!  In these pictures we found out that I was 9 weeks and 4 days along and that the baby will be due January 7th.  I was so overwhelmed to watch the fast little heartbeat, kicks and squirms of this one inch long little person! 

After the ultrasound we met back with our doctor who confirmed that everything looked completely normal and healthy for a pregnancy that early along!  We also found out that our due date will never change because early ultrasounds are really accurate.  We are now 11 weeks along and the morning sickness is starting to let up, though I am still way more tired than usual.

Sorry for the book of an update, but I figured such an important little person needed a good introduction!  Can't wait to tell you more!